I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
