Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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