K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
