threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
