butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
