I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
