u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
