Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
