I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Im just a social blackout drinker.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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