he shaved USA in his pubs
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
