Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
