I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
