I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
