these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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