I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
