bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
