quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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