Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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