For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
