You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
