my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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