I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
