I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
