how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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