I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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