I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
