Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
