Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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