i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
