Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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