thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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