I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
