fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
