I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
im holly from the hills drunk
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
