my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I party with great urgency now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
