This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
