You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
