literally had 100 drinks last night.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
