I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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