I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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