I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
