You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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