Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
