bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
