i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
