I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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