Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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