All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
