Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
