dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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