____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
