How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
