Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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